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Last night when I got home, I was greeted by a note from my son’s teacher about how he is not making good decisions. In her note, she defined “good decisions” as the ability to sit in his seat, raise his hand things of that nature. I read the note several times before speaking with my husband to get his thoughts. Just as I suspected he thought two things:
1. CJ was being singled out.
2. We need to be harder on him when it comes to school.
A 5 minute conversation lead to a long (sometimes loud) conversation which ended with me frustrated, and the problem left blowing in the wind. And honestly I’m scared.
Let me explain, I come from a family of educators, we were always ahead of the rest of our peers because my mom applied everything she did with her students on us. She fought so that we could attend the best schools even if they were out of our zone, where we were exposed to different cultures. Extra curricular activities were a must because they fostered higher levels of self esteem and self discipline. This balance was important. Looking back over my childhood i can say we turned out pretty well.
My husband grew up in a different home, they went to schools “zoned” to our neighborhood and were expected to be the best regardless of what was going on. He was to be a success no matter the environment and he did. His parents from what I know we’re very strict and allowed little in the way of “fun”. His childhood consisted of church, school and church. There was no room for anything else. He also all turned out pretty well.
Our upbringing were so different and there are times when I feel as though we aren’t on the same page, this is where the fear creeps in. Part what drives this fear is my need to be right, the other is his need to be right So how do these two completely different schools of thought become one so the child doesn’t get left behind? You let the egos go and try to come up with a plan that blends the two schools. Which we did but it took some time, two days to be exact. I write all this to say parenting is hard, but as a parent you have to sometimes see past your issues and think about the child. I’m working on my “know it all” ways and I’m hoping that helps.
I’ll keep you updated.
