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My morning started off hellish, I broke my heel, missed the 6:21 train and I really just wanted to go back to bed. CJ however was in a great mood, he was dancing and telling jokes and face it, only a mean callous person could resist his smiling face.
As i started to relax and decide to have a good day despite the hiccups i realized that CJ had on a million colors. Blue and orange hat, blue shirt, red and black jacket, and those damn sketchers *side eye coogie*. He didn’t care one bit but when i said C.J, you have on a million colors he responded in song, YES that verse..
“Mommy, you wanna talk, talk ’bout this and when I getting on they gonna talk ’bout that”. I just busted out laughing, he’s right so we just kept singing and walking. You should do the same!
Who do you admire? This question is asked of us at a very early age and often the answer is the same, our parents, Martin Luther King, Ghandi….on and on we go with the list. In the last year I’ve been asked this questions a few times (too many) and always the answer was the same until this morning.
This morning as I started getting ready for the day I peeped into CJ’s room to see if he was still asleep. He was awake looking at the ceiling peacefully. I realized at that moment MY son is who I admire most. Some might shrug at this answer because admiration is often directly tied to accomplishment, and his list is short but it’s not that.
I admire my son’s honesty, his fearless nature, and LAWD knows I admire his energy! Anyone that reads this blog, or has met CJ knows that he says everything with meaning and he expects you to believe it and not question it. That’s an awesome way to live, I feel like I was once that way but in my adult life that got me labeled a bitch. Why? because people can’t handle the truth. So we learn to tone it down, try to be politically correct and all that does it lead people to implode.
He’s fearless because in his mind nothing can happen to him, he’s a superhero and he will always be. Even when he gets hurt it doesn’t stop him. At such an early age he’s already learned that sometimes you cry, sometimes you hurt but you move on. Pretty powerful lesson that some adults could learn. Life is about the challenge, “you will fail, but you fail, fail again, fail better* ” and the next thing you know you’ve succeed.
The endless amount of energy, well that comes with being four but I’ve learned that the more I exercise, the more I unplug the less exhausted and cranky I feel.
I’ve thought about this for a few hours and I’ve realized that he is worthy of my admiration. He’s everything we once we’re and want to be again, honest, fearless and full of life. And it’s my job as his mom to make sure he NEVER loses that.
*quote is from Samuel Beckett
