In the last month CJ and I have used music to get up and go in the morning. I usually opt for a Machel Montana’s “Pump Yu Flag” because look it’s all about jumping and moving. Click the link, you’ll see for yourself. If all you can focus on is not knowing what he is saying then you’re probably dead, LOL.

C.J got tired of hearing Machel everyday and said that he chose new songs for his the week, and that he chose  new songs for me (The nerve). So I agreed because these were great songs choices *proud mommy moment*.  His songs were

Eye of the Tiger:

Family Affair:

Elmo’s Song

*he also likes the M&M version of LMFAO song*

For me he chose my two soca songs but this is my favorite of his choice.

I think it’s hilarious that at 5 years old he knew that a song with the lyrics “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run faster than my bullet” was perfect for his mom. I do love this song though. I’m happy to see that all the days of singing and playing all kinds of music for him is paying off.

 

Last night when I got home, I was greeted by a note from my son’s teacher about how he is not making good decisions. In her note, she defined “good decisions” as the ability to sit in his seat, raise his hand things of that nature. I read the note several times before speaking with my husband to get his thoughts. Just as I suspected he thought two things:

1. CJ was being singled out.
2. We need to be harder on him when it comes to school.

A 5 minute conversation lead to a long (sometimes loud) conversation which ended with me frustrated, and the problem left blowing in the wind. And honestly I’m scared.

Let me explain, I come from a family of educators, we were always ahead of the rest of our peers because my mom applied everything she did with her students on us. She fought so that we could attend the best schools even if they were out of our zone, where we were exposed to different cultures. Extra curricular activities were a must because they fostered higher levels of self esteem and self discipline. This balance was important. Looking back over my childhood i can say we turned out pretty well.

My husband grew up in a different home, they went to schools “zoned” to our neighborhood and were expected to be the best regardless of what was going on. He was to be a success no matter the environment and he did. His parents from what I know we’re very strict and allowed little in the way of “fun”. His childhood consisted of church, school and church. There was no room for anything else. He also all turned out pretty well.

Our upbringing were so different and there are times when I feel as though we aren’t on the same page, this is where the fear creeps in. Part what drives this fear is my need to be right, the other is his need to be right So how do these two completely different schools of thought become one so the child doesn’t get left behind? You let the egos go and try to come up with a plan that blends the two schools. Which we did but it took some time, two days to be exact. I write all this to say parenting is hard, but as a parent you have to sometimes see past your issues and think about the child. I’m working on my “know it all” ways and I’m hoping that helps.

I’ll keep you updated.

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C.J is blessed to have both his maternal and paternal Grandmothers as well as a Great-Grandmother. The Mr. and I would be lost without them. They nag us, they sometimes yell, but we know it’s all out of love (and their crazy need to control). Now that all the niceties are out of the way, I have a theory about grandmothers.

My Theory: Once mother’s become Grandmothers they become liars.

YEP I said it, LIARS. Some like to say selective memory, but that’s just being nice. My Mom has such “selective memory” that sometimes I have to check in with my siblings to make sure I’m not crazy. This all hit me a few weeks ago when I spoke to her about teaching C.J. how to count and identify coins. I decided to get rolls of coins so he could learn to count—a roll pennies to start. He’d have to count to 50 to complete a roll. This would help him identify the coin, how many make 50 cents and most importantly, this activity would keep him busy. Win, Win,Win and for every roll he finished he could keep and deposit it into his account. Genius right? Well I can’t take the credit for it because my mom made us do it when we were kids. I hate coins to this very day because of this chore. The smell of pennies make me want to gag. I do believe some of my fiscal responsibility comes from having done this.

After deciding to share this with my son I called my mom. I was sure she’d be beaming with pride because I remembered this and wanted to do it with my son. But BOY WAS I WRONG! Not only was she upset, she went on and on about how unnecessary it was, and why would I have him waste time when he could just go to TD bank and dump his change for free. When I protested and said we did it she screamed, “No, you did not, Ra stop making things up,” I was flabbergasted! I made up some excuse about having to go because I was questioning my reality.

Did she really not make me do this? Am I repressing some weird memory. I immediately called my older sister, who could barely hold the phone she was laughing so hard. When she settled down she confirmed that YES my mom had us roll coins and I wasn’t going crazy. Thank God I’m not an only child because i could have ended up in the looney bin over this one. LOL!!

Styling and Profiling

When I look back on old pictures of the kids in my family I get a good laugh, but mostly I fall in love with our outfits. My mom loved to shop, so we were definitely stylish, but what I loved was that we looked like little kids; no labels plastered across our chest, bottoms and backs—the closest we got to that were underoos. In 2011, that’s just not the case and I grow increasingly frustrated with shopping for CJ. After a recent trip to Herald Square (a very rare occurrence) I came up with this list:

1. Labels: My child is not a bulletin board for your name brand, or whatever you want to call it. He is a child and his Polo shirt shouldn’t be the first thing people see, (have you seen this new logo?). I don’t make it a point to buy well-known brands (unless I get them from Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and at this rate I never will.

2. Thug appeal: Now look I’m from Brooklyn, so everyone including our kids own “Timbs” and a Champion hoodie. I’m positive that this is in the Brooklyn handbook (maybe even the New York handbook) but when I see 5 year olds dressed in sagging jeans (skinny or otherwise) and coogie sweaters I get upset. Kids don’t need to look like they are off to the club, or to the block to hustle. Cut it out.

3. Expensive footwear: I’m not focusing on Jordan’s. I am talking about high-end designers like Prada. I can’t see myself paying Prada money for CJ to scuff up. I’m that chick that used to clean her sneakers with a toothbrush. So, can you imagine how neurotic I would be over sneakers that expensive! LORD! Why don’t kids wear shoes anymore? My penny loafers were my best friend.

4. Embellishment: While on this shopping trip I saw jeans with jewels and intricate threading on the pockets and down the sides. Why? That just seems like a way to keep kids distracted: look at the pretty little sequins. Trust me, CJ doesn’t need any additional distractions he’s good.

5. PRICES: I am a frugal shopper, but by no means cheap, so when I see a $30 T-Shirt I immediately pause. Once I gather my thoughts, I’m out. Sneakers for $120 for him to outgrow in two weeks, nope. $60 for jeans that he will run and slide in causing holes in the knees, NOPE.

These are things I’ve faced while shopping for CJ. Thankfully I have many alternatives here in NY. For his jeans, I still go to The Children’s Place. They are always on sale. I also shop at Osh Kosh. I use the double coupon days they offer. During the holiday season I was able to get CJ a sweater for 21 cents! You can’t beat that. The prices are definitely a big draw and the quality of fabrics used can’t be beat!

Lastly, is my old friend Daffy’s. A lot of their stock comes from Europe and if you get in early it’s a mommy’s paradise. I hope this guides some parents away from the hip hop attire and back to dressing kids like kids not mini me’s.

More styling featuring Moi

Only the finest for me.

When CJ started kindergarten in September we were anticipating homework from day one to get him in the groove. I wasn’t expecting anything big but maybe a worksheet to finish from the day. That didn’t happen. His new teacher eases the kids into work and homework started around mid November.  I spoke to a few parents and they were not happy about it (neither was the Mr.) but I just felt like it gave me more time to get him up to speed.

I was lucky to have a friend whose son also had the same teacher, and she saved all of the homework projects (SCORE!) and gave them to us in the summer. Even though I had them I can honestly say I didn’t stick to them like I should have (*sigh* I’m such a slacker sometimes) but I did utilize other tools that really helped. Here are a few of my favorites.

Writing:

CJ has known his alphabet in song since he was 2 years old, he sang it all the time. He could even identify the letters as long as they were in order. As he got older he started to be able to identify them even out of order but not as easily, that has since changed. The next step was to get him writing. I can honestly say that I felt defeated in that before we even got started because CJ is left handed. I psyched myself out with that and thought if I could teach myself to write really clearly with my left hand it might help (it did a little) but what really made the difference were these cards.

 

These cards are often used by kids in Montessori programs and are made of sand. The cards have a coarse touch and allow the child to feel what writing the letter feels like. CJ didn’t like them at first complaining that they hurt his finger tips but I can assure you they are not rough enough to hurt, my son can just be a tad dramatic. Now he loves them and when I take the box down he’s ready to go. Even though he has now mastered writing the letters I still use the cards and think I will way into at least the first grade. The cards run about $35.00 on Amazon and are worth the investment. For the DIY moms out there here is a link for making your own: DIY Sand Letters.

Reading:

So we got to a place of ease with writing letters thanks in part to the Montessori sand letters and CJ’s teacher introduced with the first batch of homework the Dolch sight words. Dolch sight words are the 220 most common words and 95 nouns found in children’s book. The Pre-Primer and Primer words should be mastered by the end of kindergarten to give a comfortable start in 1st grade reading. I was kind of excited about this because I’m a big reader and I read to CJ every night so CLEARLY he is going to take to this like a fish in water right? UHM yeah not at first. We started with flashcards, he took to them for all of a day before just getting silly and not wanting to use them. I was frustrated, my husband was BEYOND frustrated and that only lead to CJ being frustrated.  So what did we do, we turned to technology, the iPad to be exact.  There are tons of apps to be used but the most basic and distraction free is ABC Sight Words.

This app contains sight words from Pre-Primer to 3rd grade and has a separate link for Nouns and cost nothing! It’s one of the best free apps we’ve used. Easily navigated a voice guides the kids through each word allowing the kids to hear the word, each letter (when touched) and more importantly trace each word. This app saved a lot of lives on the way to summer camp(how’s that for a review). Once he was comfortable using the iPad we added the flash cards back into the mix.

So this has worked so far, the challenge is keeping him from getting bored, tired and frustrated. I have a few tricks up my sleeves though. I made myself a promise to review all the tools I’ve been using good and bad because I’m sure I’m not the only parent out there trying to figure it out.

 

This Mommy blog is a safe have, a room all my own where I can get all things mommy off my chest. I haven’t been here in a few months and I kind of miss this place. This year has been anything but easy in the world of a working mom but it’s been an adventure nonetheless. So here it goes a quick recap:

  • CJ turned 5 and we had a ball. Though there were a few glitches his party was everything I imagined. Family, friends and good food yes a success.
  • CJ started Kindergarten! With the exception of the one pushing incident and the brown boy comment he has had a very successful transition. His teachers love him, he’s picking up the academic work quickly (sometimes lazily) but it gets done. He’s a smart kid so I don’t worry too much (besides he knows his momma is not afraid to release the Kraken on his ass)
  • We’ve started eating a greener, healthier diet and CJ loves it. Though every now and again he wants a sandwich for lunch (Nutella is the rage) he is equally as happy with a salad and veggies.
  • Bento Boxes for lunch make the difference, GET INTO THOSE MOMS!
  • Christmas was battery free, not a video game not one battery insight. We’re trying to encourage CJ to use his imagination more.
  • I still battle with the Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom bit but I don’t care anymore. I do what’s best for my family so screw the people who don’t pay CJ’s tuition.

So what’s next? I don’t know. I really am working on reading with CJ and it’s been a fight because I still expect him to just get it (HUSH I KNOW HE’S FIVE). I’m working on it. I’m going to do my best to do the following in 2012:

Keep you updated the working mom life.  My everyday struggles are real and now with my fancy iPad I can update more often (YEAH WORD PRESS).

Tell you about products I’ve used to guide us in reading, writing and math with CJ. As well as for the moms keep you in the loop about how I stay in shape w/o that much time on my hands.

HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL! 

We're doing less grains but this works.

This week CJ started his first week of school and for the first time in his 5 years we’ve had to pack lunch. At first I was not to thrilled about this but I remember school lunches and yeah I just had to suck it up.  I want him to have awesome healthy lunches so that he can focus throughout the y and not feel sluggish.

The first thing I I did was sit down with the little man to plan lunch and snacks for a month (it’s really just two weeks, I’m not super woman) keeping in mind our new Primal lifestyle. WHOA, let me tell you this was no easy tasks. First CJ and I had to have the battle of the PB&J, he wanted to take them I had to explain peanut allergies *palm to head*.So I got him a nutella snack, he didn’t like that and we were able to scratch the idea of PB&J as a whole. Two days later we came up with this lunch plan (only one week below)

Monday: Grilled chicken breast with veggies.

Tuesday: Tuna fish in lettuce wraps. (Thanks Jaded)

Wednesday: Salad with grilled chicken.

Thursday: Pizza Roll lunch boxes (not the crappy ones from the fridge, Pizza roll up.)

Friday: Salad with all fruits and veggies. broccoli, corn etc.

I tell you this is a fancy lunch for a 5-year-old, I know some adults that don’t eat this well, but it’s worth it. It’s a win win for us all because I can take the same lunch and even leave one home for the Mr. #winning.

Bring on the school year, we’re ready for you!

Count my numbers 1,2,3

I can even write my name with ease

Aren’t you very proud of me.

Kindergarten here we come (here we come)

Kindergarten here we come (here we come)

So long Pre-K it’s been fun.

Kindergarten here we come! ~ C.J 

This morning CJ started his journey to “Big Boys School” and he could not have been happier. He woke up early, got dressed twice (he didn’t want to wear his blazer), ate breakfast and called his grandma to sing the wheels on the bus. She seemed very happy about that. As we waited for the bus (hence the song) in the rain I realized (AGAIN) that my little boy is growing up and that I don’t much care for it. He jumped on that bus like he has been riding alone for years. I was shocked, just a peace sign and he was out. LOL

He’s FIVE and before I know it, he will be Six then SIXTEEN *faints* and all I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. None of this makes any sense because you know from birth that your kids will get older, I knew at 2 he’s be taller than me, that he’d date all that stuff but as the bus pulled away that shit hit home.

He’s fiercely independent and I wouldn’t want him to be like other kids crying and not wanting to let go but sometimes I do. #Dontjudgeme. Man this mothering this is making me soft, let me log off and get some work done so that when his bus pulls up I can have his snack ready.

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Oh I’d like to say I didn’t cry until one of the nuns said “Just like when you bring your child to be baptized and they are called by their names we will call them by name as you bring them forward” TEARS MAN! Not as many as my sister but definitely TEARS SON! 


On 7/10/2011 CJ turned 5 and we celebrated in style with all of our family and close friends. Though exhausted we had a ball and I couldn’t have envisioned a better day. This post however is not about the party in details but about the people who helped me pull it all together and some shameless plugging for their businesses :) But before that I have to say my husband is the best! He came in took a 20 minute nap and ran with me until the last person was gone. He was visibly exhausted and still he kept going. I do love him so.

First my family, without my sisters Keisha and Violet I wouldn’t have been able to get through that day. They were cooking, hosting, cleaning, just doing it all without asking what needs to be done. I’m pretty lucky to have them.

My mom for frying the best chicken EVER! I tell you that woman needs to quit her day job and get into food business, her chicken is slap your momma GREAT! I can fry some chicken but my mom puts me to shame ANY day. I love you Mommy, thanks for always being there.

My niece Ari put together one of my favorite guessing games. The kids loved it and some won more candy *sorry parents*. It was a hit! And my niece Ki won the peppermint M&M,  which I wanted. LOL

My bud and CJ’s awesome godmother Adia for coming out early, getting me drunk and helping with everything from set up to grilling. She’s a great friend and I love her.  She’s always welcome out to the country house and there will be tons of lavender soap and Game of thrones episodes for you to watch undisturbed.

The Jaded Nyer, K and N! She and her two daughters came on an early train popcorn maker in tow and popped and filled all the goodie bags with yummy fresh popped popcorn. Did I mention she came from Brooklyn!!!! Look at how cute the bags turned out!

The candy was in the bottom, had to fool the kids.

They are awesomeness, CJ, Black and I are glad you’re in our lives.

A few years back I reconnected with a friend from JHS through facebook and she’s made the cupcakes for CJ’s past two parties. This year’s carnival theme brought us red velvet cupcakes with red and white frosting, they were delicious and the minis were a hit with the kids. And after all the candy they took in that was definitely enough. I didn’t get a pic of the 5 dozen we had but the most important part is right here. Super cute!

Sassy Sweets, (347) 576-5132. Tell her Krishna sent you.

Last but not least a friend so close she may as well be family, and her sangria. The adults thank you for their sanity! I usually hate red sangria but this one was pretty tasty.  I’m sure my sister V had something to do with that red being there *side eye*

Kikiskickinsangria@gmail.com

Email her :Kikiskickinsangria@gmail.com Follow on twitter KikiKickinSangria

Thank to all of you, despite the few glitches everything turned out wonderful and I’m glad you were apart of it all.

 

 

 

No one can tell me this kid is not HILARIOUS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 2012
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